i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
