I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
