I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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