I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
