is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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