Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
