Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
