I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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