Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
