I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
