1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
