i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Randomize
