I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
