Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
