i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
