Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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