Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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