Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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