if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
