if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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