So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
