I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
