You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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