ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
