I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
