Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
