so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
