he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I want her autograph on my taint
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
