at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
