are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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