i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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