i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
