Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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