Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
