It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
