I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
