Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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