I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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