I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
