Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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