He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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