So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
