I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
