we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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