I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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