Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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