I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
