I just saw a hot homeless man
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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