Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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