found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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