i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
