I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
