After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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